The Birth of a Soul

I want to say it began with something that shook the world, but it didn’t, not in the way one would think. It didn’t shake the rest of the world, but it shook her world, and that’s all that matters, isn’t it?

It began with the birthing of a soul – her soul. The birth wasn’t easy. It was, in fact, the most painful experience she’d ever had, in every way imaginable. Physically, she fought for every breath, she stumbled on shaky legs and fell to her knees aching for release, but forced herself up again to push through the crowning, to push through the agony, to give it all for the new life coming from her. Emotionally, her world crumbled, and she watched while all she knew herself to be evaporated in front of her – she watched it, she cried, and she held on to life because something greater was coming. Spiritually, she surrendered, but that surrender didn’t come easily. No, it came when she accepted that it was the end, that she would not – could not – survive this process.

That is the birth of a soul. It is born with blood, sweat, and tears. And with every birth comes a death.

The soul that rises into the unknown of a new life must look back at the old, look back and recognize the strength and pain that had to be endured in order for that soul to exist. It must acknowledge and honor the one that persevered, that cried, wept and gave everything for the life of that soul.

Because, you see, that woman gave all that she was for that soul to live. Everything that woman knew, everything she had been, and everything she hoped to become, had to die in order for the soul to rise.

The greatest sacrifice was given in the hopes that the being rising from the ashes would look back and honor the sacrifice, honor it and become something greater, something far more expansive than the woman ever hoped to be. That the life sacrificed would be worth the pain, in the end, and the birth would be enough to change the world.

So while the world did not shake at the birth of this soul, the ripples may get stronger as they go, and in the end, who knows. Maybe it will shake the world.

The Breath of Remembrance

In the stillness of the morning a breath -shaky, perhaps - and final.

It seeps out - a sigh, a whisper, a goodbye.

The breath of life does not leave with the strength of a hurricane. It leaves quietly, a gift to the morning stillness. It is the breath of completion, the time of goodbye, and yet it is so much more. 

The final breath is the breath of remembrance. 

It does not dissipate into the stillness. It sprouts wings and takes flight. 

It whispers into the ears of lovers and friends, children and neighbors, companions, loved ones, progeny.

Remember, it says.

The soul is free, the light unbound.

Remember,

The life, the steps, the journey.

Remember.

And the breath whispers into the ears, sharing the memories. 

Some will remember the pillar of greatness that rose like a beacon, giving direction and hope to those who were lost. 

Others will remember the light shining, a torch in the darkest of nights lighting the way home. 

For some, it will be love they remember; they’ll smile at the soul peering out from beautiful blue eyes that were more window than eye. This soul saw only the truth. In return, they saw the truth, too. The gift of this soul is his ability to peer through one’s darkness and find the light. Many will remember the love of his soul breathing light back into their life. 

Still others will remember the words, the prayers, the faith and conviction, the knowing that we are loved, that we are upheld, that there is a God and he is ours to commune with. 

So many memories whisper on the final breath, many that show the path, inspire the life, and still others that are much simpler but beautiful all the same. 

The smiles. 

The acceptance. 

The love.

But one can’t forget the snows and sleds, tractors and campouts, and blue jumpsuits worn only when working. 

The memories speak of another whisper, the whisper of wind through pines planted by his own hand, pines that grew taller and taller - trees to measure a life. 

Most will remember snow cones and popcorn, and great summer barbecues. 

And for the lucky? They’ll hear the breath as it whispers reminders of Christmas, pajamas, and jubilant carols. They’ll see a vision of a man singing wholeheartedly, surrounded by children all clamoring for his lap. 

Yes, the final breath is the breath of goodbye, 

but it carries with it the gift of remembrance,

And it is a beautiful gift indeed. 

A Love Letter to My Body

I have some things I want to say to you, and I believe they are things you need to hear. So take them to heart, because they are words that I have never said.

In my journey through life I have had many experiences, each laced with a million emotions. I have laughed and I have wept. I have smiled and I have sobbed. I have held myself together with nothing more than my arms and determination in my heart, and yet those same arms have held the new life that you, my body, gifted me with your incredible strength and tenacity.

I have stumbled physically, emotionally, and spiritually, yet every time I rise again and I demand that you rise with me, that you rise and face the storm on legs willing to walk into the battle, with arms holding the shield in one hand and my banner, my vision of the world, in the other.

Together, we have walked through the fires of hell, taking shaking, trembling steps, knowing that hell cannot last forever. Every step of the way, you did not falter. When I stumbled, you would not let me fall. When I tried to lie down and give up, you urged me forward, just one more step forward.

You have persevered through the blood, sweat, and tears of childbirth; you have felt the agony as you pushed a new being into this world, and you have felt the hollowness of an empty womb and the incredible weight of empty arms, arms that should have held your child, but never got the chance.

 You hurt, you suffered with me and for me, you experienced weakness and pain and agony and yet you did not falter; you will not falter. Each day, you wake, you rise, and you stand and face the world, the pain, the adversity. You face it all and you do not quit!

And yet, despite the strength you have shown, despite the courage and the grit, I have never seen what you really are. I’ve never stopped to look and listen to what you are telling me. I’ve never paused long enough to hear the words that you would say, if I would give you a voice. Your words might tell me that you harbor the pain of our experiences, too. Your words might speak to the life that we have gone through together, and the loneliness – yes, maybe even the betrayal – as I pile resentment upon you for what I perceive to be failures.

Yes, I cling to anger at the failure of my womb, and I  look in the mirror and see a woman whose body is showing the scars, the marks of her experiences; instead of seeing the beauty in the imperfections and of acknowledging the battles we have fought together, I demand perfection, demand you be something you ought not to be. Instead of allowing you to rise, powerfully, to stand as the woman who has faced the storm, I demand you be the woman who hasn’t walked through hell, the one that existed before hell came, as if you shouldn’t show the scars of all we have fought.

I will do this no longer.

No more will I demand perfection.

No, I will honor you as you have honored me and when we rise now to face the storm, we will rise and we will lift our banner to the world, and it will be scarred, imperfect, and glorious. Because, by damn, we have earned those imperfections.

Feminine Archetypes - myths to restore the feminine to her divine center

We live in a world where the divine has a large, powerful presence in almost every culture. Probably every culture.

Though I don’t know the number of people that exist within each religion, it’s safe to say that globally there are three religions with a substantial impact: Christianity, Judaism, and Islam.

Each of these religions has their roots in biblical origins. Each of them is very patriarchal and driven by a masculine God and a masculine system and has very clear roles for women. Because these religious ideologies have their primary focus on the masculine, there is a huge missing for women. I didn’t even have language for it until I was gifted a book by Sue Monk Kidd titled The Dance of the Dissident Daughter. This book was the author’s discovery of the divine feminine in her own life.

I almost cried many times reading this book. I felt seen. Somebody else had lived my same spiritual life and they’d found the language to understand it.

As humans we need stories to orient ourselves around. We need something greater than ourselves to aspire to. But in my religious culture, which has its roots in biblical teachings, there were no stories for me. There were directives, orders, expectations, laws, and an overarching theme of unquestioning obedience, but nothing to help me understand who I am as a woman.

I have spent countless hours studying and learning about the divine feminine. I’ve learned about her history and the erasure of her from history. I’ve learned about her power and where that power was lost. And I’ve learned that there are stories for me, beautifully woven myths about feminine archetypes and what they have to teach me as a woman.

an image of goddesses embodying the feminine archetypes of wisdom, independence, mother, maiden, and warrior

The most common archetypal image we see is Mary with the Christ child, a beautiful image to be sure and a powerful archetype if you understand the full scope of the story behind the story. But most of us aren’t taught that. Mary is venerated as the go-between for man and God. She is God’s wife and Christ’s mother. She is the virgin who gave birth. But who is Mary, really? As an archetype, a person, or a deity?

While asking the question of Mary, I have to ask the same for the others: who are Artemis, Athena, Persephone, Demeter? Who is Lilith and who is Eve?

In my culture, the answer is as follows:

Mary, mother of Christ and the virgin who gave birth to divinity.

Artemis, Athena, Hestia, Persephone, Demeter – all myths, all no longer worshipped. Their stories exist but are no longer relevant.

Lilith, largely unknown but originally the first wife of Adam turned demon.

Eve, the deceived woman who caused the fall of mankind.

All of these characters have archetypal relevance for women but history has changed or minimized their stories such that we’ve lost the archetypal elements. Yet there is so much for women to learn from these ancient stories of female goddesses!

Athena, Artemis, and Hestia are considered virgin goddesses. Culturally we would assume this to mean they were goddesses who never had sex, but that is not actually the case. In the Greek culture at the time these goddesses were worshipped, their virgin status had little to do with their intimate relations. A virgin, at the time, was a woman who was one in herself. She was a whole woman who knew her worth and her power and owned both, whether or not she had sex; these goddesses did not need men to be whole. Archetypally they are a reminder for women to embrace and develop sovereignty within themselves and become whole in their own right.

Aside from their status as virgin goddesses, they each had their own archetype associated with them. Athena is well known as the Goddess of wisdom. Jean Shinoda Bolen defines her as, “the pattern followed by logical women, who are ruled by their heads rather than their hearts. She shows that thinking well, keeping one’s head in the heat of an emotional situation, and developing good tactics in the midst of conflict, are natural traits for some women. Such a woman is being like Athena, not ‘acting like a man.’” She is the archetype for women who thrive in business, who rise to the top as CEO’s, who work well in the ‘man’s world’ of logic and analysis. She is one aspect of femininity, and an important one.

Artemis is the Goddess of the Hunt and Goddess of the moon. As an archetype she embodies the independent feminine spirit. According to Bolen, “the archetype she represents enables a woman to seek her own goals on terrain of her own choosing.” In addition, she was a protector of women and children. The Artemis archetype finds fulfillment in seeking her own interests and pursuing her passions without needing the masculine approval or encouragement. Her identity is based on sovereignty within herself, her own confidence, and her own achievements. Many Artemis women also find the need to shift social injustices and be a voice for the voiceless.

Within the last century, Artemis and Athena have gained power as archetypes and are being embodied by millions of women across the globe. However, this is a fairly new cultural phenomenon. For millennia, the archetypes of Hestia, Hera, Demeter, and Persephone were the most widely accepted while those of Artemis and Athena were shamed and diminished. However, all of the archetypes are important facets of femininity as a whole.

So now we come to Hestia. She was Goddess of the hearth and house. At the time of her worship, Hestia’s presence was a key component of everyday life. She provided warmth and wholeness to the home. When a woman embodies the Hestia archetype, she has a sense of intactness and wholeness on her own. Her archetype is often found in women who find meaning and fulfillment in keeping house. Bolen says that, “with Hestia, hearthkeeping is a means through which a woman puts herself and her house in order. A woman who acquires a sense of inner harmony as she accomplishes everyday tasks is in touch with this aspect of the Hestia archetype.” She often goes internal in meditation or prayer to maintain that wholeness. Hestia uses intuition as guidance and trusts her own inner knowing. Hestia women have an energy I would describe as a ‘knowing stillness.’ Somehow they remain grounded even when chaos reigns.

Then we shift to the vulnerable goddesses. These goddesses were taken advantage of or harmed by the male gods in their mythological stories, but they embody powerful feminine archetypes that we all exist within today. These seem to be the most widely accepted and encouraged feminine archetypes. These goddesses include Hera, Demeter, and Persephone. Archetypally they are wife, mother, and daughter. Hera, the wife. Demeter, the mother. Persephone, the daughter.

Bolen writes that Hera as, “the Goddess of Marriage was revered and reviled, honored and humiliated. She, more than any other goddess, has markedly positive and negative attributes. The same is true for the Hera archetype, an intensely powerful force for joy or pain in a woman’s personality.” The Hera archetype represents a woman’s yearning to be a wife. We see this in young maidens (another archetype) who can think of nothing else but getting a husband. When embodying Hera, the maiden feels incomplete without a mate or partner in life. Bolen goes on to state that when a Hera archetype is embodied, a “bride may feel like a goddess on her wedding day. For her, impending marriage evokes the anticipation of fulfillment and completeness, which fills her with joy.” The Hera archetype is largely celebrated and encouraged culturally. Growing up, becoming a wife and mother was the one singular goal I had. It was the God-ordained path for all women and one I enthusiastically followed. Many women find immense joy in rooting into the Hera archetype and embracing all that it is to be a wife.

After becoming a wife, mother is often the next step so we come to Demeter, the Mother archetype in Greek mythology. We must also look at Persephone – the daughter – as the archetypes are linked. Demeter was the Goddess of Grain and caused the world to flourish. Persephone, her daughter, was kidnapped and taken to the underworld by Hades to be his wife, an act which was sanctioned by Zeus. Grieving her lost daughter and betrayed by Zeus, Demeter refused to act as Goddess of Grain and thus nothing would grow. The fruits of the earth were her domain and she withdrew her power. Eventually Zeus recognized the error of his ways and implored Hades to return Persphone. Hades did, but not before tricking Persepone into eating three small pomegranate seeds. Persephone didn’t know that eating the seeds would bind her to the underworld. Because of these seeds, she was allowed to spend two thirds of her time with her mother and then forced to spend her remaining time in the underworld with Hades.

During the time Persephone spent with Demeter, life flourished and the fruits and bounty of the field grew. But when Persephone was with Hades, that power was removed and the bounty of life faded as Demeter wrapped herself in depression and grief. As an archetype, Demeter is the maternal instinct that is “fulfilled through pregnancy or through providing physical, psychological, or spiritual nourishment to others.” She embodies caretaking and love rooted in caregiving. Bolen states that “this powerful archetype can dictate the course a woman’s life will take, can have a significant impact on others in her life, and can predispose her to depression if her need to nurture is rejected or thwarted.” As an archetype, Demeter is powerful. When women feel the pull to motherhood, it is Demeter’s archetype they embody. Speaking back to the archetypal image of Mary and the Christ child, it is the mother or nurturing archetype of the feminine psyche that is invoked.

Naturally, we must look at Persephone as an archetype as well, as she is both daughter to Demeter and now Queen of the Underworld. A powerful archetype indeed.

As the daughter, Persephone embodies the maiden, part of which includes the maiden’s naivety which enables her to be swayed and molded by others. The maiden rarely knows who she is and must discover herself over time through the experiences of life. We see this archetype represented in Clarissa Pinkola Estes’ book The Women Who Run with the Wolves. Her story of Bluebeard is a wonderfully woven story of a maiden gaining awareness and becoming a new archetype. But Persephone is also Queen and she becomes the guide for others navigating the underworld. The Underworld could represent many things. Maybe it’s the repressed emotions and feelings we were taught to hide. Maybe it’s fears and dreams, hopes and passions we were told were too big or impossible. Maybe it’s one’s own darkness or the deepest buried truth that we fear the most. Regardless, she becomes that which helps the soul navigate the darkness.

Interestingly enough, in the Christian world we have The Black Madonna, another divine feminine archetype who grounds the soul in light and helps them navigate the darkness. I would argue that she is a clear parallel to Persephone.

Persephone’s archetype is fascinating. She begins as a maiden and becomes a Queen, guiding others on their own soul path. In my opinion, she is a beautiful representation of a maiden developing awareness and gaining clarity on who she is and/or what she’s becoming. Maybe it was the maiden’s pain that brought her to it, as Persephone’s was, but eventually she can become a Queen.

There are many Greek goddesses and they all embody a different aspect of the feminine. Their myths are there for us to learn from and develop ourselves inside of. Historically, they were worshipped but they were not separate from humanity. They were in humanity and humanity was in them. Goddess was internal and external; she was that which one could aspire to.

Shifting away from the Greek goddesses, we have Lilith and Eve. Both are considered wives of Adam, the first man, and both embody a different aspect of the feminine archetype.

In Lilith’s myth, she was the first wife of Adam. While she’s not a common piece of religious history, the archetype does exist, though the origin of her story seems to be controversial. According to the most widely accepted version, she was created from the dust of the earth alongside Adam. As they were equal, she demanded equality and he required submission. Refusing to submit, she\ left then was cursed for leaving. I have done very little research on Lilith but I did stumble upon a reddit thread that identified her story as satire. Regardless of her origins, she has archetypal qualities we can learn from. She embodies the fierce, fiery feminine that refuses subservience. She will fight at great cost to retain her independence and recognition as an equal part of the whole. I wonder how many of the suffragettes that fought for women’s right to vote a hundred years ago had Lilith’s fire in their veins. She may also serve as an archetype for the more sensual sides of feminine nature – eroticism, sexuality, and rage among them – aspects of feminine nature that are widely suppressed and rejected, even demonized, as was Lilith.

Eve is another powerful archetype and one that has shaped women’s experiences for thousands and thousands of years. While the Greek goddesses and Lilith had their moment in history, Eve is still the reigning archetype of today, as she is the only one widely considered to be more than myth. To many, she is both history and myth. Archetypally, she embodies many aspects of femininity. From curious maiden, to companion, to mother, to seeker of wisdom and bringer of death. Her story arcs through them all. But ultimately, Eve is considered in Western culture to be the first mother, the primal mother from whom all life flowed. Archetypally, it could be argued that she is more of a balanced feminine than the previously mentioned goddesses, because her story includes curiosity, intuitive guidance, companionship and submission, motherhood, loss of innocence and the gaining of knowledge. In addition, she also archetypally carries the qualities of deceit, seduction, disobedience and sexuality.

What is interesting to note about Eve, and about Mary who I previously mentioned as the reigning symbol of the feminine archetype, is that both women have their stories rooted in a history that happened long before Genesis.

The original female archetype was Goddess, and she was a whole, complex embodiment of the entire scope of femininity. Her name was Gaia, Great Goddess, Isis and many other names. 30,000 years B.C. she was the bird Goddess. In some stories she was sacrificed and buried then life sprang from her bones. Others have similar qualities to Mary, Mother of Jesus, in the concept of the virgin birth. Many cultures have her there at the creation of the world. Some have a garden of Eden equivalent where the goddess was honored rather than diminished.

So while we have aspects of the whole feminine in the different goddess archetypes of Artemis, Athena, etc., a worthy goal of the feminine would be to stitch herself together in the form of the original goddess. That is, to become whole herself where all archetypal aspects are balanced and accessible whenever they are needed. The beauty of all of these myths and stories is that they are stepping stones women can follow to begin unlocking the mystery of who they are. They show the truth through myths of what can be unlocked when a woman stops asking outside sources to define her, and instead starts asking herself — her divine soul — how she wants to be defined.

Sources: Goddesses in Everywoman by Jean Shinoda Bolen

Goddesses: Mysteries of the Feminine Divine by Joseph Campbell

The Women Who Run with the Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estes

The Language of the Goddess by Marija Gimbutas